


Happily Never Afters: a review and fanfiction

by KathyPrior42



Category: Happily N'Ever After (2006)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 17:17:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18921517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KathyPrior42/pseuds/KathyPrior42





	1. Film Introductions

"Happily Never After" (2007) is a fantasy film based on the fairy tales of Brother's Grimm and Hans Christian Anderson. The first film begins with the introduction to the Wizard, who maintains the balance between good and evil and controls all the fairy tales. He has two assistants: the rule-adhering Munk and the mischief maker Mombo. When the Wizard travels on vacation, it is up to Munk and Mombo to maintain the balance. But, of course, Mombo, having been bored of the usual story endings, decides to literally tip the scales to be entertained. 

Several other characters are introduced: the blonde naive prince charming, a dishwasher named Rick, and Ella, who works as a servant to her evil stepmother and stepsisters. When Mombo causes trouble, the evil stepmother, Freida decides to take control of the kingdom herself. Using the Wizard's staff, she summons all the villains to the palace to cause more chaos. With the help of Rick, the seven dwarves, Munk, and Mombo, Ella figures out a way to defeat her stepmother and save the land. (Frieda is pushed through a portal, and Ella eventually marries Rick). 

 

The (badly produced) sequel: "Snow White - Another Bite at the Apple" (2009) was also known as "Happily Never After 2." This story follows Snow White, who lives with her caring parents, King Cole and Queen Grace. Her mother was kind to all the citizens, regardless of their positions in life. When she suddenly falls ill, she tells her daughter that "true beauty comes from helping others."

Years pass and Snow White becomes a spoiled typical teenager who values her appearance and nights out with her friends. King Cole soon wants someone to be queen and act as a mother figure to his disobedient daughter. After Mombo tips the scales, Lady Vain turns evil and Rumpelstiltskin appears to help her. Vain uses a magic mirror to turn her face into Queen Grace's and King Cole accepts her. Snow White is later rejected by her friends and the citizens after unwillingly spreading gossip about everyone, under the influence of Vain's magic apple. 

Snow White meets the seven dwarves and learns how to help other fairy tale beings (despite being reluctant). With the help of her friends, a changed Snow White races back to the palace to stop the wedding between her father and Lady Vain. Vain is soon defeated after the magic mirror breaks and her face is returned to normal. Before the guards take her away, Snow White tells her that she doesn't need a magic mirror to be beautiful. Snow White finally accepts her role as queen and the film ends with the characters dancing.


	2. Review

Animation: 

The first Happily Never After film has better animation and story than the sequel. The animation in the sequel looks like draft computer graphics were incorporated into the final product. This is in contrast to the "cleaner" and more vivid graphics of the first film.

Story and Messages:

The first film centers on the changing of destiny. Ella and Rick both believed at first, that Ella would marry the prince and live happily ever after. Yet, Ella eventually says that she wants more than what the fairy tale book indicates. When she hugs Rick after defeating Freida, Ella says that the victorious moment is "not an ending; a beginning." This implies that both she and Rick want to live lives with purpose and meaning. Life is more than just a fairy tale, even in Fairy Tale Land. 

The second film sends the message that beauty is everything (along with the fact that kindness is more important).  
This appears to be a paradox, but let's get into it. One of the biggest examples is when King Cole wants to have a wife who's as beautiful as Queen Grace. Queen Grace and Snow White both pursue being beautiful in their own ways. Eventually, Lady Vain gains the king's trust by looking like Queen Grace. (a bad example of parenting, instead of properly disciplining Snow White on his own like the average father would).  
Also, it takes Snow White a while to learn from the seven dwarves...to the point that it become predictable as to when she would start to help others and learn her lesson in the first place).

 

Characters:

Ella is a more likable character than Snow White for several reasons. Ella is a kind, innocent romantic, who falls in love with the prince like many other young women. She wants a better life away from her cruel step family. Sadly, her parents are never shown nor mentioned. Though she is easily frightened, she has shown courage and a strong spirit. (Evidenced by when she helped the dwarves shot diamonds at the witches and villains. Also when she fought her stepmother toward the end of the movie). People can also relate to her trying to choose between Rick and the Prince in her mind.

In contrast, Snow White appears as a spoiled girl in the first part, and a self-centered teenager throughout the majority of the film. She is shown to care about her hair, nails, and the newest fashion trends along with her friends Goldilocks, Little Bo Peep, and Red Riding Hood. (Yes, I did notice that they diversified the races of Snow's friends, but it doesn't add up if the characters aren't well-developed). Though she reluctantly changes her ways and begins to help others, she doesn't show any kind of fighting spirit against Lady Vain.

Rick works as the palace dishwasher in the first film and is also Ella's best friend. He appears to be neutral on the side of good and evil (even serving the villain wolves their meals). Rick believes at first that Ella only wants to be with the prince and that she doesn't care about people like him. He secretly loves her and over time, he helps Munk and Mombo get into the palace to fix the scales and defeat Frieda. He even goes off looking for the prince for Ella, despite not wanting to.

Peter's design and clothing is based off of Rick's. (similar cotton shirt, jeans, and brown short hair). Peter falls in love with Snow White and mentions how caring her mother was. Snow falls in love with him too, but he rejects her when she displays her privileged status and values. Peter appears as more of a side character than Rick, though he does protect Snow with a shield in the final battle, though he gets knocked aside.

 

Frieda appears as a tall, seductive villain who wears a red corset and high heels. Rumpelstiltskin has some entertaining interactions with Frieda (ex. when he says, "I'll be your evil co-wizard!" which Frieda declines.) When the villains couldn't capture Ella, Frieda jumps on a magical broomstick and captures her instead. She even tries to kill Ella and Rick while they were hanging off a ledge. Though she appears to be highly sexualized, it also makes for some funny subtle moments. (Ex. Frieda says "Teach me!" to Munk and Mombo and when she says "which of my toys should I play with first?" Plus, she laughs manically several times, throughout the film. 

Lady Vain looks like a standard evil queen, wearing a dress of purple. Instead of killing Snow White, she decides to humiliate her by putting her under a gossip spell. Vain often makes Rumpelstiltskin do the work for her (such as fixing Snow's hair in a cringe-worthy creepy manner). He also appears to be more of an idiot, as shown when he didn't know to give Snow the apple until the mirror showed an image of it to him. She only appears crazed at the end, then breaks down into tears after the spell wears out. 

Munk and Mombo had more screen time in the first film and more funny moments as well. (ex. Mombo taunting Munk while dancing on the glass sphere). In the second film, they only make an appearance in the beginning and toward the end.


	3. Fanfic possibilities

Ella could help teach Snow White about the value of helping others (while still being a fighter at times). Though Snow White would, at first, taunt Ella about being low class "riff-raff", Ella would stand her ground and point out Snow's flaws.

Cole's adviser would play a greater role, questioning the king's decision to find a wife that looks like Queen Grace. He would also be suspicious of Lady Vain and would want to be sure that Snow White is safe.

Rick and Peter could be casual friends and exchange stories about their ordinary lives. Peter would become the Prince's servant and funny interactions would occur. 

 

Lady Vain would actually try to poison Snow White, instead of putting her under a gossip spell. The plan would go wrong, and one of Snow's friends would end up getting poisoned instead. Worse still, Snow's friends would claim that Snow was the one who poisoned one of their own! Seeing the superficiality of her teen friends, Snow would begin to question her relationships and place. 

Frieda and Lady Vain could appear to team up at first glance. However, their goals are somewhat different. Lady Vain wants to be queen and be beautiful like Queen Grace. Frieda wants to take over FairyTale Land and kill Ella. Lady Vain would likely be very jealous of Frieda's beauty and try to use the magic mirror to her advantage. However, with the wizard's staff, Frieda would be more powerful in terms of magic abilities. After being taken away, Lady Vain would be encouraged and comforted by both Snow White and Ella that it is what's on the inside that truly matters. This could result in Lady Vain teaming up with the good guys against Frieda. The two stepsisters would be orphans and Frieda would likely freeze to death after being pushed through the portal by Ella.

The Wizard would sit back and watch the battles while drinking whiskey.

Mombo and Munk would get a greater role (like it should have happened in the sequel).


	4. Film script

Frieda: “Evildoers of our kingdom…we’re always the losers, the bad guys. Is that fair? No. Well starting tonight…I give you happily never after!”

Rick: “Hold it, hold it, hold it!”   
Rick: “Would the owner of a light blue coach with “Narnia” plates please move your vehicle? You are parked in a “Trolls Only” zone. Thank you.”  
Rick: “While I have your attention, you see that there? That’s what we call a “wicked stepmother.” Feel free to boo. I know what you’re thinking. Who put a wicked stepmother in charge? Were there free elections? Any chance of a recount?   
Rick: “You know what? Let’s go back a little…  
And I’ll give you the lowdown on Fairytale Land.   
Yeah, the name’s kind of corny, but we had to call it something, and “Canada” was already taken.   
So anyway, in this tower, high above the prince’s palace…  
Is what you might call the Department of Fairytale Land security.   
This is where all the stories-  
You know the ones…  
Rapunzel…  
Sleeping Beauty…  
The Frog Prince…  
Are watched over by a wizard.  
And his job is to make sure every fairy tale goes by the book…  
Right up to their happy endings.   
And that’s why he has these: the scales of good and evil.   
See that? They have a little pointer there and everything.  
As long as he keeps those things in balance, the stories never change…  
And the endings stay happy, happy, happy.  
The wizard also has two assistants, Munk and Mambo.   
Munk’s the guy who sees the glass as half-empty.  
Mambo’s the guy who…probably peed in the glass.  
You know what I’m taking about: a world-class troublemaker.  
Yeah. These are the guys you want to trust your happy ending to.

Here’s our story.

Remember her? She was the one with the whole…  
“Evil, evil, blah, blah, blah,” speech a minute ago.   
Anyway, let me fill you in on everyone in this particular tale.

We’ve got one wicked stepmother…  
And two ugly stepsisters…  
Delicate flowers of womanhood.  
One fairy godmother.  
I think she’s a couple Hansels short of a Gretal, you know what I’m saying?  
One Prince Charming.  
Hold the charm.  
And then there’s one fair maiden.   
Ella.   
You probably know her as Cinderella…  
But she’s always been Ella to me.  
She’s in love with that prince you just saw.   
What does Ella see in Prince Potato Head? I have no idea.

But just look at her.

She’s so beautiful.

A girl like that could never fall for an ordinary guy like me.

So you might be wondering by now who I am.   
Have a look.  
No, not Blondie McBiceps.  
No. Look to the left.  
Keep going.  
There I am.  
You know that Cinderella story, right?  
Remember Rick the servant?  
Of course you don’t. I’m the guy who polishes the prince’s boots.   
I’m the guy who washes his dishes and serves his meals…  
And does his laundry and flosses his teeth.  
You know what kind of happy ending the royal flosser gets?  
Right.  
None.  
So, that’s everyone important…and me.  
Okay, let’s see the title now.  
Happier music please.

Rick: So here we are, the da of the prince’s ball.  
I managed to swipe some mail from the royal messenger’s bag…  
So I’d have an excuse to visit Ella.  
Ella: Hello? Oh, Rick, it's you.

 

Rick: I'm sorry to be  
such a disappointment.

 

Ella: No, no. I was expecting  
the royal messenger.

 

Rick: With these?

 

Ella: They're here!

 

Ella: Did you see him today?  
What was he wearing?

 

Ella; One for my stepmother,  
two for my stepsisters...

 

Ella: and none for me.

 

Rick: Wait. What's that?

 

Rick: You've got somethin'... here.

 

Ella: I'm invited too!  
Just like I've dreamed about.

 

Ella: The royal ball.  
Ella: And he'll be there in his royal shirt-

 

Rick: And his royal boots-  
which Rick spent two hours polishing.

 

Rick: And it was a royal pain in the butt.

 

Ella: I may even  
get to dance with him tonight.

 

Rick: Gosh! Wouldn't that be super?

 

Rick: He's dreamy.

 

Stepsister 1 (Stasia): The prince!

 

Stepsister 2 (Zella): - The invitations! They're here!  
\- Move it!

 

Stepsister 1: Give it! It's mine!

 

Stepsister 2: Out of my way!

 

Stepsister 1: - Mom totally hates you.  
Stepsister 2: - She hates you more.

 

Stepsister 1: Nuh-uh. You.

 

Stepsister 2: You totally ripped my coiffure.

 

Frieda: Knock it off!

 

Rick: Great. Here comes the dragon lady.

 

Stepsister 1: - You started it.  
Stepsister 2: - Did not!

 

Stepsister 1: - Did too!  
Stepsister 2: - You so did.

 

Stepsister 1: Shut up. She's coming.

 

Freida: It takes hours  
to get you looking like that.

 

Now we have to do the whole  
thing all over again.

 

And you.

 

Hand them over.

 

Come on. Come on.  
Cough it up.

 

Ella: I am invited, Stepmother.

 

Stepsister 1 (Stasia:)If she goes,  
she'll just embarrass us.

 

Stepsister 2 (Zella- She has nothing to wear.  
Frieda:- Now, girls...

 

of course Cinderelly may go.

 

Unfortunately, she has  
a few things to do before the ball.

 

First, she has to polish my shoes...

 

then cook us a pot roast,  
whiten the bathtubs...

 

shampoo the cat,  
reshingle the roof...

 

give the carriage a lube job-

 

Shall I continue?

 

Rick: Ella, say no.  
You don't have to put up with that.

 

Frieda: Get back to the kitchen.

 

You're not her Prince Charming.

 

You're the dishwasher.

 

Rick: I am not.  
I do laundry... too.

 

Rick: Ella isn't the only one  
who's worked up about the ball.

 

The prince is so excited  
it's almost like he has a personality.

 

Barber: The same as always, Your Highness?

 

Prince: Not too much off the front.

 

Everything must be perfect.

 

Tonight's the night  
I meet my damsel.

 

It says so right here in the book.

 

Princely Rule Book, Section 12:  
"On his 21st birthday...

 

every prince must  
host a ball to find a damsel...

 

preferably blonde,  
who is either imprisoned...

 

cursed or distressed."

 

Mambo: Great. Our downstairs neighbor,  
the Airhead Formerly Known As Prince.

 

There's gotta be something better on.

 

There's Rapunzel...

 

single-handedly keeping the kingdom's  
shampoo industry in the black.

 

Apparently, her people have yet  
to master scissor technology.

 

Little Red Riding Hood.

 

Every wolf's favorite  
between-meals snack.

 

And then there's Rumpelstiltskin.

 

Still trying to get the baby.

 

Don't ask me why he wants a baby.

 

Messy diapers and the drooling  
and the this and the-

 

Munk: - Can we limit the editorializing?  
Wizard: - Munk. Mambo.

 

It's time for my vacation.

 

\- I'm off to Scotland.  
Mambo: - Why?

 

Remember what I taught you.

 

You have to maintain the balance  
between good and evil.

 

Munk: - Don't worry, boss.  
Mambo- We're pros here.

 

\- We're your assistants.  
Munk:- Actually, I'm senior assistant.

 

Mambo: What? Just 'cause he hired you 300 years  
before me, that makes you senior?

 

Mambo: Does he know he's wearing a skirt?

 

Wizard: That's better.

 

Now, guys,  
no fooling around with the scales.

 

Same for the staff.  
No turning lead into gold...

 

no giving yourself  
huge pectoral muscles, Mambo.

 

Mambo: Hey. It was a onetime thing, okay?

 

Wizard: And keep a special eye on Cinderella.

 

She'll be downstairs  
at the prince's ball tonight.

 

Munk: Everything will go by the book.

 

Mambo: - Just like it always does.  
Wizard: - Munk, open the portal.

 

Munk: Yes, Your Wizardry.

 

Wizard: And remember.

 

Keep your eyes on the ball.

 

Fore!

 

Munk: How do you like that? I'm a prince  
of portals! A master of magic!

 

Mambo: Big deal. You're the doorman.  
Door pig. Hippo thingy.

 

You know what you are.

 

Munk: Can we get to work, please?

 

Red chief: Ricky, where have you been?

 

You have to wash the dishes  
for the prince's ball.

 

You went to see Ella again,  
didn't you?

 

Rick: What does she see  
in that loser prince?

 

She doesn't even know the guy. I have  
to deal with him every day of my life.

 

She is a prince dreamer, mon frère.

 

Red chief:- You're gonna get nowhere with her.  
Rick:- Shut up.

 

I'm not trying to get anywhere.  
She's a friend.

 

Blue chief: I know what kind of friend  
you're talking about.

 

White chief: I need a friend like that,  
my friend. I tell you, huh?

 

Red chief: Oui. With friends like that,  
why do you need enemies?

 

Butler: Gentlemen!

 

The prince is furious.  
He demands his cranberry juice.

 

Cheifs- No!  
\- Not the cake!

 

Butler: Mmm...Vanilla.

 

Frieda: Come on, girls. Think prince.

 

Stepsister 1: - Don't work too hard.  
Stepsister 2: - Missed a spot.

 

Both: See you at the ball.

 

As if.

 

Frieda: Ella.

 

Remember.  
Shampoo and condition the cat.

 

And don't forget to swab out  
its sores. It loves that.

 

Oops. Sorry.

 

Mambo: Weepy, weepy,  
cry, cry, cry, sob.

 

And then,  
fairy godmother to the rescue.

 

I love this part.

 

"Don't cry, child."

 

Fairy godmother: Don't cry, child.

 

I'm your fairy godmother.

 

I have come to grant  
your wish to be a real boy.

 

Ella: What?

 

Fairy godmother: - You're Cinderella, right?  
\- Yeah.

 

Then let's get you ready for the ball.

 

That's not right.

 

Nice.

 

Yes.

 

Here we go.

 

Sassy!

 

Oops.

 

\- Yes.  
\- Wow.

 

Fairy godmother: - You look beautiful, Salmonella.  
Ella: - It's Cinderella.

 

Mambo: Cinderella going to the ball-again.

 

Sleeping Beauty, still asleep.

 

Somebody get her  
a double espresso, please.

 

And get me a triple.

 

Rumpelstiltskin: You have but three chances  
to guess my name...

 

and if you fail,  
your baby shall be mine!

 

Mambo: Rumpelstiltskin,  
still going for custody.

 

I think he wants weekends, right?

 

Always the same thing.  
The good guys win.

 

Munk: And what do you want to have happen?

 

Rumpelstiltskin gets the baby?

 

Cinderella stays a maid?

 

Mambo: I just wish we could mix it up  
a little bit...

 

make it a little edgier.

 

Then let 'em have  
their happy endings.

 

Munk: We are not tipping the scales of good  
and evil so you can be entertained.

 

Mambo: What if we made the seven  
dwarves seven feet tall and-

 

Munk: - No way.  
Mambo: - What about making Rapunzel go bald?

 

Munk: Forget it.

 

Mambo: Couldn't we just give her  
split ends...

 

or dandruff  
or a mullet or something?

 

What about that?

 

Mambo: Look at me. I'm Munk.

 

Munk: Mambo, get down!

 

Mambo: I am Munk, and my nostrils show.

 

I've got dandruff and bad BO.

 

Munk: Stop fooling around.  
You're gonna break it.

 

Mambo: Munk is a bossy know-it-all...

 

with a butt the size  
of a shopping mall.

 

Munk: Stop it. That's enough!

 

Frieda: All right, girls.  
We're almost at the ball.

 

Stepsister 2: - What are you doing?  
Stepsister 1: - Give me that perfume!

 

Stepsister 2: - It's mine!  
Stepsister 1: - I need it more!

 

Stepsister 1: - No, I do!  
\- I smell like camel sweat.

 

Stepsister 2- I smell like a dead pig. Smell me!  
Frieda: - Knock it off!

 

Can't you two pretend to be  
human beings for one night?

 

Stepsister 1: - Hurry up, slowpoke!  
Stepsister 2: - Ow!

 

Frieda: Who am I kidding?

 

These girls are hopeless.

 

A donkey would have a better  
chance of marrying the prince.

 

I'm never gonna get ahead  
in the world if I count on them.

 

There has to be another way.

 

Mambo: And he's running!  
It's Mambo by a mile!

 

Munk: If you spin it off that stand,  
you are in big trouble!

 

Mambo: I'm dancin'.  
I'm dancin'.

 

I'm skatin'! I'm skatin'!  
I'm backwards skatin', backwards skatin'.

 

Not so easy. Not so easy.

 

What?

 

Munk: I told you to be careful!

 

Munk: - This is powerful magic!  
Mambo: - Oh, boy.

 

These things control the fate  
of the entire kingdom!

 

Frieda: Powerful magic?

 

The fate of the kingdom?

 

Girls, Mama's gonna take matters  
into her own hands.

 

Don't wait up.

 

Both: Mother!

 

Mambo: Left. Left, left.

 

Right, right. Down, down, down.  
More down. Downer.

 

Munk:- I'm calling the boss.  
Mambo: - Why?

 

Mambo: Why? We fixed it. You fixed it.

 

We fixed it, 'cause I did the "down,  
down, down, left" part, which helped.

 

Yes or no?

 

Don't call the boss!

 

Frieda: Forty flights of steps in heels?

 

Urgh. This had better be good.

 

Prince: "Chapter Four. How a prince  
must behave at the ball.

 

One: Smile at maidens."

 

Hello.

 

"Two: Look heroic."

 

Yes.

 

"Three: Be 'roman tick."'

 

Be "roman tick"?

 

Be romantic!

 

Stepsisters: There he is!

 

To one side.

 

Excuse me.

 

He's dreamy.

 

Stepsister 2- I like him!  
Stepsister 1- I love him! Rroww.

 

Fairy godmother: Time to meet your prince,  
my dear Mozzarella.

 

Ella:- It's Cinderella.  
Fairy godmother: - Really? Why'd you change it?

 

Ella: Thank you, Fairy Godmother.

 

Fairy godmother: Remember, it all ends at midnight.

 

Munk: Move it.  
You are in so much trouble!

 

Mambo: And what are you gonna do about it?  
Turn me into a frog, Mr. Wizard?

 

Munk: Do you even know what  
you could have done?

 

Mambo: Yeah, yeah. I know. I could have knocked  
over the scales of good and evil...

 

and changed the destiny of  
every character in Fairytale Land.

 

Blah, blah, blah.  
But I didn't!

 

Freida: Hiya, boys.

 

Mambo: Whoa! Ouchy mama!

 

Freida: Let’s do it!

Munk: Frieda?

 

Frieda: So this is where it all happens.

 

And all this time  
I thought it was fate.

 

Munk: - You can't be up here.  
Mambo: - What is she doing here?

 

Mambo: I didn't order a stepmother.

 

Frieda: Come here, cutie.  
Show me those magic arts.

 

Come on, big boy. Teach me.

 

Mambo: I kind of go for these  
power-mad, villainous, evil women.

 

Munk: She thinks I'm the wizard.

 

We don't really do workshops.

 

Maybe you can come back  
another year?

 

Frieda: This operation's about to  
have a hostile takeover.

 

Just call it a little power play.

 

Mambo: Man, she is good!

 

\- I mean bad.  
Munk: - Get out!

 

Or I'll zap you into a toad!

 

Mambo: - Can you zap?  
Munk: - Just watch me.

 

Frieda: Baby, I think you're  
all yap and no zap.

 

Mambo: Oh. Okay.

 

Now we're flying. I guess when you say  
"zapping," you mean "flying."

 

Munk: Shut up and drive! I'll open the portal  
and get the boss!

 

He'll fix everything!

 

Munk: - Don't let her get the staff!  
Frieda: - Let go of it, you little freak.

Mambo: Oh no!

 

Munk: No air bags?

 

Oh, gosh!

 

Munk: Mayday! Mayday!  
We're going down.

 

Mambo: Ouch! Fire! Burning!

 

\- Hot. Hot, hot. Hot.  
Munk: - Prepare for grievous bodily harm!

 

Mambo: Warn me next time you zap.

 

Stepsister 1: You should totally  
fall in love with me!

 

Stepsister 2: - Nuh-uh. Me.  
\- I read a book once.

 

A very interesting book.

 

Woman: - Who is that?  
\- Nice slippers.

 

Man: Her feet are so tiny.

 

Prince: She's perfect.

 

Man: - Where is she from?  
Man: - She's beautiful.

 

Ella: What's wrong?

 

Prince: I detect the strangest smell  
of pumpkin.

 

Prince: I like pumpkin.

 

Rick: Welcome to  
the worst moment of my life.

 

So far.

 

Frieda: Let's see.

 

Which of my toys  
should I play with first?

 

Warm.

 

What's this?

 

Red Riding Hood: My, Grandma.  
What big eyes you have.

 

Wolf: All the better  
to see you with, my dear.

 

Red Riding Hood: And what big yellow teeth you have.

 

Wolf: The better to eat you with!

 

Frieda: Here they are again.  
Interesting.

 

Now let's see if-

 

Rapunzels’ Prince: Rapunzel, Rapunzel,  
let down your hair!

 

Frieda: I wonder what happens if I just-

 

Rapunzel: Ow.

 

Rapunzel’s Prince: Ow! I'm on my knees.

 

Frieda: It's so easy!  
Just the touch of a finger.

 

A pajama party.

 

Rumpelstilskin: You have but three chances  
to guess my name...

 

and if you fail,  
your baby shall be mine!

 

Mother:- Fabio?  
Rumpel:- Nope.

 

Mother: - Beelzebub?  
Rumpel:- No.

 

Mother: Rumpel... masashi?

Rumpel: Nope!

 

Frieda: Rock-a-bye-bye, baby.

 

Hey. That's my house.

 

And...

 

Ella?

 

Hey, you gotta be kidding me.  
That little-

 

She gets the prince...

 

and the palace, and I get nada?

 

Zilch?

 

Nothing?

 

Uh-uh. No way!

 

Not while I'm in charge!

 

Prince: Left, right, left.

 

Left, right, left.  
Left, right, left.

 

Left, right, left.

 

Frieda: I don't believe this.

 

How did she get there?

 

And where did she get that dress?

 

And where can I get one? I love  
those little ruffles down the front.

 

Prince: So, what do you do?

 

Prince: Are you a fair maiden, lady-in-waiting,  
damsel in distress?

 

Ella: I will be, kind of, at midnight.

 

Frieda: Oh, come on!

 

I think the little princess  
needs a makeover!

 

Ella: What happened?

 

Frieda: Sorry.

 

Prince! Where did that maiden go?  
Did you see her?

 

Oh maiden. Oh maiden!

 

A slipper.

 

Maybe she was the maiden after all.

 

At last. A damsel in distress!

 

Here. Section four,  
subparagraph eight.

 

"Once a prince finds his true love,  
he may never let her go."

 

I will find you, my love...

 

if I must ride to the ends  
of the earth to do so.

 

Ella: Your Majesty.

 

Please wait. I'm right...

 

here.

 

Prince: I can swim a little!

 

Frieda: That is the prince?

 

What a loser.

 

Serves her right.

 

If I'm gonna  
shake things up around here...

 

I'm gonna need some bad guys.

 

It's time to party!

 

Mambo: Maybe it's just fireworks?

 

Pink troll: I never seen that before.

 

Purple troll:- Come on. Let's go.  
Light purple troll: - This way.

 

Thin wolf: Yeah, yeah.

 

Gray wolf: Something's going down at the palace.

 

Fat wolf: Sweet.

 

Witch leader: Death from above!

 

Ella: Rick. Oh, my gosh. Rick! Hey.

 

I was dancing with the prince  
and my dress disappeared.

 

Rick: Okay. So that's too much  
information, but thank you.

 

Ella: It was supposed to last  
till midnight, but it didn't.

 

And then there was this light in the sky.  
Something's wrong.

 

Rick: - Yeah. I'll say.  
Cheifs: - Coming over the bridge! Look!

 

Frieda: Evildoers of our kingdom!

 

\- Hiya!  
Troll: - Hello.

 

Frieda: So, guys...

 

ever think there could be  
more to life than this?

 

We're always the losers,  
the bad guys.

 

Is that fair? No.

 

Ella: Frieda.

 

And who wins?

 

The dorky ingenues  
and the pretentious princes.

 

From now on,  
say good-bye to losing.

 

And say hello to winning.

 

Yes to little girls  
who get eaten by wolves.

 

Thin wolf: Yeah, yeah, yeah!

 

Frieda: To princesses  
who never get their prince!

 

Because starting tonight...

 

I give you...

 

happily n'ever after!

 

Rick: Yeah. This is where you came in.

 

Rick: I hate to tell ya,  
but it gets worse.

 

Thin wolf: Yeah, yeah.

 

Guard: We demand that you depart  
this palace at once.

 

Guard 2: Yeah. You heard the man.

 

Thick wolf: What you gonna do if we don't?

 

Giant: - Let's make guard kabobs.  
\- Dibs on the chubby one!

 

\- This is gonna be great!  
\- I like to hit things.

 

Guard 1: Ow, ow! Not the face!

 

Guard 2: That was my favorite leg!

 

Ella: - Rick, we have to do something.  
Rick: - Okay. We could get-

 

Ella: I know. We'll find the prince.  
He's out looking for me now.

 

Ella: - We have to find him.  
Rick: - For what?

 

He's a pretty boy. He just does  
whatever his little book says.

 

Ella: I'm sure his book  
will tell him to save the day.

 

Rick: If you think that poser  
is gonna save us, you're dreaming.

 

Ella: Maybe I am dreaming,  
but somehow...

 

I know this wasn't  
supposed to happen.

 

It's Frieda.  
She's making everything bad.

 

Just like she always has for me,  
but for everyone.

 

We need a hero to stop her.  
We need the prince.

 

Rick: - You mean you need the prince.  
Ella: - This isn't about me.

 

She's taking over.

 

Rick: Yes, it is. It's about you  
becoming a princess...

 

so you can move upstairs  
and forget people like me exist.

 

Ella: You know what?  
You're being ridiculous.

 

Rick: Ridiculous?  
You know what?

 

You need to get out of here.  
You're blocking my light.

 

And I've got dishes to wash.

 

Ella: Okay.

 

Fine.

 

I don't need you anyway.

 

Red chief: Go with her, mon ami.  
She does need you.

 

Rick: For what?  
To chase after that jerk?

 

Chief: Prince envy.

 

Munk: How could we screw up so badly?

 

The wizard will never trust us again.

 

Mambo: The wizard'll never trust you again.

 

Munk:- You knocked over the ball!  
Mambo:- You gave her the staff!

 

Munk: A wicked stepmother?

 

With the wizard's staff!

 

Mambo: She could take over the kingdom!

 

Munk: If we don't fix this mess before  
the boss gets back from vacation, he'll-

 

Mambo: He'll turn us into toads  
is what he'll do.

 

Munk: I like the way I look already.  
I don't want to be a frog!

 

Mambo: What if he makes me look like you?

 

Mambo: - I know what we need.  
Munk: - Yeah. A new job.

 

Mambo: I've seen these tales  
a million times...

 

and who is the one guy  
that always wins in the end?

 

Mambo: - The prince!  
Munk: - Or the simpleton.

 

Mambo: Exactly. The simpleton.

 

I mean... the prince!

 

Ella: Hello?

 

Excuse me.

 

Mambo: Cinderella?

 

Ella: How do you know me? Never mind.

 

Did you guys see  
a prince come this way?

 

Six foot 2, perfect body,  
perfect face, perfect everything.

 

Why, no. Did you come from  
the palace, by any chance?

 

Yes. It was horrible.

 

Trolls, witches.

 

The bad guys have taken over.

 

Who are you guys?  
What are you guys?

 

I'm Munk. He's Mambo.

 

We work for the wizard.  
We had a little accident.

 

Accident?

 

We let a wicked stepmother  
get control of the kingdom's destiny!

 

She has the boss's staff!

 

Okay. Okay. No arguing.

 

Could you guys fix all this and make  
everything the way it was meant to be?

 

\- Of course.  
\- But first we'd have to get past Frieda.

 

For which we need the prince.

 

Come with me. I'm looking for him too.  
He'll help us save the day.

 

The prince defeats Frieda...

 

we fix the scales  
of good and evil...

 

and the boss doesn't have to know!

 

That might actually work.  
Let's find the prince.

 

Heck yeah, it'll work! He'll take  
that mother down a few steps.

 

Oh, yeah.

 

Hey.

 

Seven billy goats gruff,  
medium rare.

 

Three little pigs' ribs...

 

and a cow-that-jumped-over-the-moon  
burger...

 

with fries.

 

How's the salad, big guy?

 

\- Get you guys a refill on the mead?  
\- What's your rush, kid?

 

\- Sit down.  
\- Take a load off.

 

\- Pour yourself a glass.  
\- All right.

 

Don't mind if I do.

 

That's the first time  
anybody asked me to sit down.

 

I'm melting!

 

\- So what's your name, kid?  
\- Rick.

 

So, are you a good guy  
or a bad guy or a what guy?

 

Neither. I work in the kitchen.

 

Let me give you some advice.

 

Around here,  
you're either a good guy...

 

or a bad guy.

 

And between you and me...

 

I don't see much future  
in being good.

 

Mon frère, what are you doing  
hanging around?

 

Those guys are cool. They're not  
too good to hang with the help.

 

A good friend does not  
let a good friend down.

 

Would you get out of my way?

 

You should be with her,  
out there by her side.

 

What for?

 

She wants a prince, remember?

 

"Wizardress."

 

Too hard to say. General?

 

Mistress?

 

Queen of Calamity?

 

Your Highness.

 

Your Lowness.

 

Your Badness.

 

Excuse me, Empress of Evil.

 

"Empress."

 

I like it. Still kind of stuffy,  
but beats "stepmother."

 

I've come to offer my services.

 

And why would I need you, shrimp?

 

I'm Rumpelstiltskin.

 

I'm the supremely evil  
diabolical mastermind.

 

I have information  
about a plot against you.

 

Already? Get out!

 

Wait. Hold on.

 

This info-What do you  
want in exchange?

 

I'll become your evil co-wizard.

 

Diabolical vice president.

 

Your malicious creative exec.

 

Dastardly follower  
in charge of badness?

 

I stole a baby!

 

That's about as evil as it gets.

 

Okay, okay.

 

Sidekick.

 

Your fear-inspiring,  
terrifyingly evil sidekick!

 

Somebody needs a diaper change.

 

Empress...

 

I overheard the wizard's assistants  
conspiring in the woods.

 

Those little freaks? Get out.  
You are so wasting my time.

 

But they're searching for the prince,  
and helping them is a girl.

 

A girl?

 

5'4", dark hair, beautiful...

 

humble clothes,  
extremely petite feet-

 

Ella.

 

I hate that girl.  
She's so... girlie.

 

Your Majesty?

 

Prince?

 

\- That didn't sound like a prince.  
\- Did I say I wanted it edgier?

 

I don't want it edgy.  
I want it happy.

 

Roses and tiaras  
and ball gowns and-

 

Kiss it!  
Maybe it'll turn into a prince.

 

It was worth a try.

 

Sweet.

 

Hey. Watch the snout.

 

Believe me. I'm watchin' it!  
I'm watchin' it!

 

Fellow rogues, victory is near.

 

But there's just one  
little seed of goodness...

 

that refuses to die  
in the winter of our content.

 

Go forth.  
Find Cinderella...

 

and bring her to me!

 

Us work?

 

Before noon?

 

Yes, well,  
we're more nocturnal villains.

 

You see,  
that means we operate at night.

 

You still here?

 

How do you start this thing?

 

It's probably just a-

 

What do you call those things  
that aren't wolves?

 

Kiss it! Maybe it will  
turn into a prince!

 

Bad doggie! Down, boy! Stay!

 

\- You okay?  
\- Uh-huh.

 

Oh, gosh!

 

The Mountain of Death.

 

Let's go, boy.

 

Ouch.

 

Please tell me that's modern art.

 

I don't think we should-

 

Locks on the door.

 

Bars on the windows.

 

I know who lives here.

 

Hey, that was my big toe.

 

Hey!

 

\- Hey, get away from there!  
\- No trespassers!

 

Yeah, can't you read?

 

I bet them's the ones  
that took Snow White!

 

\- We don't even know Snow White.  
\- I used to spy on her though.

 

Well, no. More like  
peeking in on her.

 

Checking in.  
Let's call it that.

 

I checked in  
on her occasionally.

 

We're looking for the prince. If we don't  
find him, the kingdom will be lost.

 

And can I remind you  
of something?

 

We're being chased by the bad guys.

 

Correction- surrounded by them.

 

Please. Please.  
You have to help us.

 

Inside.

 

Initiatin' primary defense!

 

Come on, come on!

 

It's the big one.

 

Why'd you call it the big one?

 

It's the mother of all battles!

 

Move it!

 

\- We knew it was a-comin'.  
\- We just didn't know how.

 

\- Or why.  
\- Or when.

 

We've been gettin' ready  
for the big one for years.

 

Yeah.

 

\- Sic 'em!  
\- Yeah, yeah.

 

Billy Bob, crank up the big lady!

 

\- You!  
\- What?

 

\- With me!  
\- Me? But I don't-

 

Lock and load, Cletus!

 

What's that?

 

She's stuck!  
Bubba, give me a hand!

 

How about a foot?

 

Darlin', load up them diamonds!

 

Me?  
Are you sure?

 

I don't think that's a-

 

Diamonds?

 

Why do you think we been savin' 'em?

 

They're harder than a knight's sword  
and sharper than a dragon's tooth!

 

Come on, come on!

 

Take that, you varmints!

 

You're a wolf!  
Get some teeth!

 

Some growling would be nice!

 

Some biting would be better!

 

Target 500 yards!  
Follow me in!

 

Roger.

 

Oh, no!  
We got witches! 2:00!

 

I really, really don't like this.

 

What? And I do?

 

Come on, little lady!

 

Show me what you got, witches!

 

\- Munk!  
\- Wow!

 

Mambo!

 

Reload! Reload!

 

Rubies, diamonds, everything we got!

 

I'm hit!  
I'm hit!

 

Dang!

 

We tried to teach  
Snow White to shoot...

 

\- but she couldn't hit the side of a barn.  
\- Wow!

 

\- What?  
\- I didn't know I had it in me.

 

Lady, you can call me Duke.

 

Ice Queen! We lost Ice Queen!  
Retreat!

 

No way!  
Hold it together!

 

Circle around!  
Do you copy?

 

Roger.

 

Hey, we should spell out  
"Surrender Cinderella!"

 

Negative!  
Proceed as planned!

 

Yeah!  
Eat this, dwarves!

 

Ella!

 

Pardon me, ladies!

 

\- Ella!  
\- Rick! You're here!

 

Yeah. Things were kinda slow  
in the kitchen.

 

Munk! Mambo!  
Jump on!

 

Duke!

 

Don't worry about us, darlin'.

 

You just find that there prince!

 

The dishwasher?  
The dishwasher saved her?

 

This is like a good dream  
you can't wake up from.

 

I've sent witches.  
I've sent trolls.

 

Nothing is working!

 

Then the prince took  
Cinderella to his castle...

 

and they lived happily ever after.

 

No, they did not!

 

Whose side are you on?

 

If I may ask...

 

why do you hate Cinderella so much?

 

I mean, according to the tale,  
she never did anything to you.

 

I don't know.  
Because she's gorgeous?

 

Because she's too stupid  
to know her place?

 

Because she's so cheerful  
about everything?

 

Because if she wins,  
she'll be the queen...

 

and I will be the stepmom forever!

 

Is that baby  
making you soft or what?

 

That's it! You can't send witches  
or wolves to do an empress's job.

 

Get me a broom.

 

I'm gonna take out little  
Miss Goody-two-slippers myself!

 

Heads up, Cindy!

 

Stepmama's on her way!

 

Thanks, Rick,  
but what are you doing here?

 

I just thought you could  
use a little help.

 

\- You're the best.  
\- Any luck finding the prince?

 

Not yet. This is Mambo and Munk.  
They're helping too.

 

Look, I say there's no time  
to find the prince.

 

We gotta take Frieda out...  
ourselves.

 

\- But she has the wizard's staff.  
\- So take it.

 

Just create a distraction,  
sneak up on her and jump her.

 

Okay, good. We make a distraction,  
we do some sneaking...

 

and then this jumping thing though-

 

I don't know. I have a bad back.  
Who's doing the jumping?

 

We are.

 

But there are trolls  
in the palace and that woman!

 

Big deal.  
I can get you in.

 

We could do this...  
without a prince.

 

There he is!  
I'm sure that's him!

 

Oh, maiden!  
Maiden!

 

Hello! Prince!

 

Hey! Up here!

 

\- We're too high!  
\- Rick, go back!

 

\- I can't!  
\- You can't or you won't?

 

Come on.

 

Again with the crashing!

 

I hate gravity!  
I hate it!

 

Ella, you okay?

 

Prince?  
Hello?

 

We must have overshot him by a mile.

 

Yeah, we lost him.

 

Just like you wanted.

 

What? Ella, I didn't-

 

Ella! Ella, wait!

 

Come on. We ran out of fuel  
or something.

 

Sure. You don't wanna  
find the prince.

 

You want him out of the way  
so you can be the hero yourself.

 

Ella, I know the prince.  
He's hopeless.

 

\- And I know I can do it.  
\- No, you can't.

 

You can't save the day.  
You're not a prince. You're just...

 

Rick.

 

I-

 

\- Sorry about that. Are you-  
\- Fine.

 

It was fine.  
I mean, I'm fine.

 

\- I guess we should look for the-  
\- Prince.

 

\- The prince.  
\- Yeah.

 

We'll go back and find him.

 

Wait.

 

You wanna find him, fine,  
but let's do it smart.

 

It's almost dark, and we don't even know  
which way is back.

 

You guys hang low.  
I'll go look for him.

 

Rick.

 

Thank you.

 

So I'm finding  
Ella's prince for her.

 

This was the last thing  
I wanted to do.

 

But we both knew  
how the story had to end.

 

\- We need your help.  
\- Oh, it's that kitchen boy.

 

I don't have time to explain.  
Ella needs you.

 

\- You gotta save her.  
\- Yeah, yes, yes.

 

Did you bring me my laundry?

 

Ella?  
The girl you danced with?

 

\- At the ball?  
\- That maiden?

 

Well, I've crossed  
deserts and mountains...

 

babbling brooks and things...

 

to bring her...

 

this.

 

You crossed a desert  
to bring her a shoe?

 

Yes, well, it's in the book.

 

So if Frieda hadn't  
tipped the scales...

 

the prince and I  
would have gotten married?

 

You always do.

 

What about Rick?  
What happens to him?

 

He just works in the kitchen.

 

Yeah. It's not his story.

 

\- What's wrong?  
\- It's your happy ending.

 

You get wedding bells, roses.

 

You ride off into the sunset.

 

\- And then what?  
\- Nothing.

 

That's the end of your tale.

 

What?

 

That's all?  
That's my whole life?

 

I just marry the prince?

 

What else did you expect?

 

I don't know.  
I guess... more.

 

I say happy endings are boring!

 

Just think about what you want,  
and go for it!

 

Frieda!

 

Oh, no!  
Not again! Help!

 

Hi, Cinderelly!

 

Under the bushes!  
Hide!

 

Under the bushes?  
That's a-Those aren't-

 

That's a stick!

 

Come to Stepmommy!

 

Ella! No!

 

Rick!

 

Blast! Looks like we lost her!

 

Maiden! Maiden!

 

Help!

 

\- Please! Please help me!  
\- Maiden!

 

Prince!

 

\- Help!  
\- I've got-

 

Why...

 

log...

 

hurt...

 

prince?

 

Sleepy now.

 

Well, don't just sit there!

 

Get back on your horse!  
Save her!

 

Right. Perfect.

 

My chance to prove myself.

 

Exactly what am I saving her from?

 

Basically, a power-mad evil  
stepmother with awesome magic...

 

and every bad guy  
in the history of fairy tales...

 

who've taken over your palace.

 

Forget it. This guy's useless.  
I'm gonna save her.

 

Rick, I like the idea.

 

But I don't know  
how to break this to you...

 

but that is just not how it works.

 

He's the one who saves her.  
Always.

 

You're the prince.

 

Don't you want to save  
your damsel in distress?

 

Yeah, and we're talkin'  
distress big time!

 

And I will save you...

 

my little slipper girl!

 

Have no fear, my beloved!

 

Stirrups, straps,  
do not let go of the reins.

 

Right. Got it.

 

\- What's goin' on?  
\- There's the dashing prince.

 

He's charging.  
He's wielding his noble sword...

 

with fiery determination.

 

He's falling off! He's falling off  
the steed. He fell off.

 

He's on the ground now. He's on the  
ground. He's looking for his noble sword.

 

I'm almost startin'  
to feel sorry for the guy.

 

He's feelin' around.  
That's a stick.

 

\- They're kickin' him now.  
\- Easy!

 

\- And they're laughing at him.  
\- That hurt!

 

\- And they're- He just got... captured.  
\- Ow!

 

"Capture by trolls...

 

Kiss thy royal butt good-bye"?

 

Bye-bye!

 

Well, no more prince.  
What now?

 

No more anybody else either.

 

Look.

 

We have to fix the scales  
and save the kingdom.

 

While there's something  
left to save.

 

We will... without a prince.

 

Well, well.

 

Ella.

 

Cinderella.

 

Now what should I do with you?

 

Turn you into a snail?

 

Make you sleep for a thousand years?

 

Shrink you?  
Eat you?

 

\- Poison you?  
\- I'm not scared of you.

 

When the prince comes-

 

Everyone will live  
happily ever after.

 

You always were such  
an annoying little optimist.

 

Fortunately, happy endings  
are so yesterday.

 

Red Riding Hood-  
Only the hood is left.

 

Size six, if you want one.

 

And Sleeping Beauty-

 

Nighty-night...  
after night, after night.

 

Forever!

 

And Cinderelly...

 

still dreaming of her  
big, strong prince.

 

Well, don't hold your breath, baby!

 

I did it all-

 

the ball, the girl, the haircut,  
the shirt, the steed.

 

I even had the perfect underwear!

 

I'm a failure!

 

No. That's impossible.

 

He's the prince. He's a hero.  
He can't-

 

Can't what? Lose?

 

Feed that thing, you half-wit!

 

But if I feed him now,  
he's gonna be up all night.

 

Then I'll feed him...  
to the crocodiles in the moat.

 

Empress?

 

Oh, Cinderelly?

 

Going so soon?

 

Your party's just  
getting started, babe!

 

We're gonna have our own ball.

 

\- Are you sure about this?  
\- No. Act cool.

 

Hey, I'm just tryin' to put  
money in your pocket, player.

 

Yo.

 

Yo.

 

Yo! We're cool.

 

We're low.  
We're on the down low, the DL.

 

Down low.

 

Way down here.  
We're slowly, moley, roly-poly.

 

Hey, what's wrong with you?  
I'm down.

 

They like me.

 

I parlez-vous their hippy-hip,  
coolio, bombio, phatty lingo.

 

I'm a- I'm a hepcat.  
That's what I am.

 

So the pig says, "I don't  
have to go to the bathroom.

 

I get to go wee, wee, wee,  
all the way home."

 

Go wee, wee, wee! Yeah!

 

Yo, Ricky!

 

Hey... you!

 

Yo! Look who's back.

 

Hey, Ricky! What's up?

 

Rick, come on.  
Make a toast.

 

I'd love to, but I gotta work.

 

You guys are my friends.  
You understand, right?

 

If I didn't know better...

 

I'd think you didn't wanna  
hang out with us.

 

Here's to evil...

 

to eatin' grandmas...

 

stealin' babies,  
cookin' little kids.

 

Here's to the good stuff.

 

That's my little Ricky.

 

And here's to the baddest...

 

most awful, rank-smelling,  
evil bad guy of 'em all.

 

That's the nicest thing  
anybody ever said to me.

 

No.  
He meant me, capisce?

 

You? You eat grandmas  
and little girls.

 

What's bad about that?

 

Okay, we made it in.

 

We got past the wolves.  
What now?

 

Here's the plan.  
You guys fix the scales.

 

I'm gonna get the staff  
away from Frieda.

 

Will this be before  
or after I faint?

 

You aren't gonna get away with this.

 

You can't just take over.

 

This isn't the way  
things were meant to be.

 

Quit dreaming, Cindy.

 

I'm having  
a real problem with this.

 

I'm concerned about the effect this  
violence is gonna have on little Reggie.

 

That wasn't violence.

 

This is violence!

 

\- Frieda, over here!  
\- What?

 

Rick!

 

Don't hurt him!

 

Ella!

 

"Don't hurt him"?

 

Ella likes the dishwasher.

 

\- You again?  
\- Oh, no!

 

Well, well. Cinderella.

 

Kiss your little pumpkin good-bye!

 

Rick!

 

I've got you, Ella!

 

I won't let you go!

 

You should have just  
married the dishwasher.

 

He's so much cuter.

 

Bye-bye!

 

Ella, grab him!

 

Wow! Did you see that?

 

I did something dangerous  
and heroic and-

 

Hey, why didn't anyone stop me?

 

Seriously, if you ever see me about  
to do something like that again...

 

just knock me out.

 

Like, punch!  
End of story.

 

Thank you, Rick.

 

Guys?  
Does Frieda still have the staff?

 

Dang.

 

Miss me?

 

You'll live to regret that.

 

But not for long.

 

Good-bye, Ella.

 

Rick!

 

\- Rick!  
\- Don't move!

 

You just had to go  
for your happy ending.

 

\- Well, let me tell you.  
\- No sleeping! No sleeping!

 

This is your end...

 

but it ain't gonna be happy!

 

I'm gonna show you that dreams  
don't come true.

 

For years I've been letting you  
ruin my life!

 

Well, no more!

 

What life? The life you were gonna have  
with Sleeping Beauty over there?

 

The dishwasher  
and the scullery maid!

 

You're gonna live  
happily never after!

 

Ella! Push her into the portal!

 

The staff!

 

\- Oops.  
\- You're not gonna need it anymore.

 

She's gone.

 

Nice punch, Ella.

 

Rick!

 

You're okay!

 

Hang on a second.

 

I thought you wanted a prince.

 

I had one all along.  
I just didn't know it.

 

Like I always say,  
good triumphs over evil.

 

Isn't that so, precious sugar pie?

 

How do you like that?

 

It looks like Cinderella  
got her happy ending after all.

 

Not an ending...

 

a beginning.

 

Well, let's get  
this place cleaned up.

 

Before the boss gets home.

 

So there you go.

 

Maybe it's not the Cinderella  
tale you're used to...

 

but, personally,  
I like this one better.

 

Look, the prince even got  
to save the day in the end.

 

Well, at least that's  
what he thinks.

 

And Rumpelstiltskin?

 

\- Well-  
\- Open up.

 

He's "Uncle Rumpy" now.

 

By the time  
the wizard came back...

 

Munk and Mambo had cleaned  
everything up.

 

Are we ready?

 

And Fairytale Land  
was back to normal.

 

Man, I can't believe it.

 

3-iron into the short grass,  
perfect chip shot...

 

and I blow my last putt.

 

Triple bogey.

 

\- Any problems?  
\- Problems? No. No problems.

 

Come on. Everything went  
pretty smooth.

 

Rick: Oh, yes.  
Every story had an ending.

 

Good.

 

But I gotta say, this is my  
favorite part of the story.

 

I guess an ordinary guy  
can get a happy ending.

 

Pretty nice, huh?

 

And you know who  
paid for everything?

 

The prince.  
He's not such a bad guy after all.

 

So what does "happily  
ever after" really mean?

 

Beats me.

 

But, you know,  
I think we're gonna find out.

 

Frieda: Back! Back!

 

Bad creature!  
And back, you!

 

All of you, get back!

 

I'm the empress of evil!


End file.
